


104 Reasons to Fight

by HapaxLegomenon



Series: 104 Reasons [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104 words each, 104th Trainees Squad - Freeform, Drabble Collection, EVERYONE - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Multiple Relationships, Other, Training Days, survey corps training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-02-11 03:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2052642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HapaxLegomenon/pseuds/HapaxLegomenon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though they may die alone, they fight together.  </p><p>This is a continuation of 104 Reasons to Live, and picks up where that drabble series leaves off.   This series will encompass the events from the appearance of the Colossal Titan in Trost to the start of the 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As before, there will be manga spoilers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a reunion, Jean has nightmares, Bertholdt avoids Reiner, Krista hates the castle, Jean has a new best friend, Connie is insecure, everything feels hopeless, and Eren is still Eren.

**1.**

Mikasa was impatient to see Eren again.  She needed to know what they were doing to him.  Armin had tried to reassure her, but what Mikasa needed was to see Eren with her own eyes.  She needed to know he was okay.

Though she wouldn’t be opposed to running into that shorty and kicking his ass.  The corners of her lips curled up when she thought of what she’d like to do.  His actions at the trial had been inexcusable.

She was quiet and distracted for the first days in the Survey Corps, until she heard the most amazing sound.

“Hey, Mikasa!  Armin!”

“Eren!” 

 

* * *

 

 

 **2.**  

Jean used to grumble about the boys who would scream in the middle of the night, grumpily convinced that they were being wimps and it was inconsiderate to the rest of them.  He regretted that, now.

When he woke up screaming and crying, as he had done every night since the Battle for Trost, he wasn’t thinking of the others in the room.  He didn’t hear Connie’s sniffles or Reiner’s broken, shaky breathing over his own heart beating in his ear and his own whimpering gasps.

Armin crawled into the bed beside him, quiet, and held him as he cried himself back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

**3.**

Bertholdt was acting strange.  He refused to make eye contact with Reiner, left a room when Reiner entered, and wouldn’t pair with him during training.  It hurt Reiner’s feelings, but he decided to leave Bertholdt alone until he cheered up.

Except he didn’t.  Days later, Bertholdt was still avoiding him and Reiner was getting frustrated. 

“What is wrong with you?” Reiner finally yelled, angry and hurt.  “Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Are you a soldier, Reiner?”  Bertholdt’s voice was sad.

“What?  Yeah, of course.  So are you.”

Bertholdt shuddered.  “No. I’ll never be like you.”

Reiner punched him and walked away, feeling sick.

  

* * *

 

 

 **4.**  

The Survey Corps were based out of a castle, much to Krista’s chagrin.  She really didn’t like the castle.  She hated the dank, cold hallways and the way voices and footsteps echoed off the stone walls. But she knew Ymir didn’t like the damp, and Sasha didn’t like the echoes, but neither of them hated the castle like Krista did.

Armin said that kings and queens used to live in the castles.  Before the titans.  Krista didn’t like rulers and autocratic authority, and she didn’t like the reminder.  It was hard having her new home constantly reminding her of who she would never be.

 

* * *

 

**5.**

He would never, ever admit it to Eren, but Jean got very attached to his horse.  Each new recruit to the Survey Corps was assigned their own horse, and Jean loved Buchwald immediately.  The horse was ornery and stubborn, but he was smart and nipped at everyone but Jean and Ness.  Jean spent a lot of time working with Buchwald; he quickly learned to respond to Jean’s vocal commands and to come when Jean whistled.  Jean argued that such abilities would be useful when they went beyond the Wall in less than a month, but truthfully, he just liked to work with his horse.

 

* * *

 

 

**6.**

“Next question!” Sasha announced, grinning.  “Which veteran is the hottest?  Go!”

“Do we really have to do this?” Jean groaned.

“Yes!  So answer!”

“What?  No!”

Sasha rolled her eyes.  “Why not?”

“ _You_ answer!”

“Erd Jinn,” she said easily.  “He’s tall and handsome and his hair is sexy.”

Connie stood and left abruptly.  Surprised, Sasha followed.

“Wait, Connie!  What’s wrong?"

“What’s _wrong_?” he snapped, turning on her.  “You just said you like tall hot guys with long hair!”

“So?”

“Fuck, Sasha.”  Embarrassed tears pricked his eyes.

“Hey,” she said.  “I like _you._ I thought you knew that.”

“I do, but…”

“Idiot.”  Sasha rubbed his head. 

 

* * *

 

 

**7.**

Mylius was standing on a rooftop with his squad – no, with most of his squad.  Thomas was…  well.  Mylius was frozen with shock.  He was scared.  He wanted to move closer to Nac, he knew Nac was there, he wanted to touch him, but he couldn’t move.

Eren yelled something angrily and then they were racing towards the titan that had eaten Thomas, and he was so scared, but Nac was there and he’d be okay as long as he had Nac.

Then, suddenly, Nac wasn’t there anymore.  His wires were there, but Nac was gone.

Mylius screamed.  He screamed until the world ended.

  

* * *

 

 

 **8.**  

Their reactions, upon seeing Eren transform for an experiment, covered a broad range of emotions.  Sasha “eep”ed fearfully, unconsciously shifting closer to Jean, who was standing beside her with a look of affected boredom. Ymir looked calculating, Krista looked curious, and Reiner and Bertholdt watched with carefully neutral expressions.

Connie’s reaction was different.  “How much control does he have over that thing?  Can he hear us?” he wondered aloud.  Armin started to answer, but Connie just shrugged, cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled.

“Hey, dickless!”

Eren’s titan lifted a giant arm and deliberately raised its middle finger.

Connie burst into noisy laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #8 was inspired by a Tumblr post, which I have not, for the life of me, been able to find. However, if you know the one, please send me a link. I will update this note if I am ever able to find the post again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ymir prioritizes, laundry sucks, Annie tries to think, Bertholdt has made a terrible mistake, they watch the Special Ops Squad, the Wall is broken, Armin studies Erwin, and training continues.

**9.**

She knew when she followed Krista into the military that she’d probably have to fight the titans at some point.  She’d resigned herself to the idea.  Still, she didn’t expect it to happen so soon. 

When the Colossal Titan appeared again, Ymir ignored the squad assignments to stay with Krista, then suggested they reconvene with the supply teams, away from the fighting. Anything she could do to keep Krista safe.

Ymir knew that if Krista was in danger she wouldn’t hesitate to reveal her Big Secret, and then the Military Police would kill her.  Or worse. 

She didn’t want to be a lab rat.

 

* * *

 

 

**10.**  

“And I thought laundry duty in the Trainee Corps sucked,” Reiner muttered, glaring at yet another full basket of dirty cloaks and jackets.  “But this is ridiculous.  Did I say how much this sucks?”

“Yes, Reiner.”

“Because it sucks.”

“Stop complaining,” Mikasa ordered, elbow-deep in suds. 

“Come on,” Armin said, soothing. “Why don’t you try to have some fun with it? They are.” He jerked his chin towards where Sasha and Connie were snapping each other with wet cloaks and sniggering.

“They’re idiots,” Reiner pointed out.  Armin shrugged, conceding the point.

“Or,” Mikasa added, “you could stop being a baby and get to work.”

 

* * *

 

 

**11.**  

Annie was sitting quietly near Reiner and Bertholdt, mind racing.  Eren was a shifter.  That changed everything.  Eren. She tried to order her thoughts, but everything was a jumbled mess and kept looping back to _how_ and _why_.  She hoped, at least, that her confusion wasn’t as obvious on her face as it was on Bertholdt’s.  Though everyone seemed far too preoccupied with their own thoughts to notice anyway.

There was a crackle and yellow-green flash.  Someone shifting.  Eren again?  Or someone else?  Annie was on her feet and chasing Reiner across the rooftops before she could even think about what she was doing.

 

* * *

 

 

  **12.**

Bertholdt had made a terrible, terrible mistake.

He’d finished his chores quickly, and decided to go down for dinner early.  He couldn’t remember which table the other new recruits usually sat at – the middle right, or the middle left?  After a moment of silent deliberation, he’d decided middle left.

It was the wrong choice.

Halfway through his meal, Bertholdt was surrounded by Survey Corps veterans and he was not at all happy about it. 

Someone sat down across from him – Captain Levi.  Bertholdt took one look at his face, shoved the rest of his food in his mouth, and fled, trying not to choke.

 

* * *

 

 

**13.**

Watching Team Levi practice was entrancing.  They were perfectly in sync, positioning themselves without a word and coming together with deadly precision.  Levi himself, the legendary Humanity’s Strongest soldier and master of 3DMG, was nothing short of terrifying as he spun and sliced in a blur of green.

Most of the former 104th marveled at the well-oiled machine that was the Special Ops Team, but Armin was more interested in the way they acted off the training grounds.  All five of them bickered and argued among themselves, constantly.  It was entirely dysfunctional.

And it gave Armin hope for the futures of the remaining 104th.

 

* * *

 

 

  **14.**

He kicked in the Wall.

He did it. 

Everything looks so small from up here.  Like toys.  His friends – no, the humans, the trainees, they look like beetles.  He could crush them with his fingertips. 

Someone is flying towards him.  His stomach twists within the nape of his neck. 

No, Eren, don’t.

He could crush Eren.  He should.  But he can’t.  Not now.

He can swipe the cannons off the Wall, though.  He should do that.  And he should steam, to keep Eren away.

His vision blacks out and his head spins.  He releases a final burst of steam.

And then, Bertholdt falls.

 

* * *

 

 

**15.**  

Commander Erwin is scarily smart.

Armin isn’t sure if the others realize just _how_ smart and _how_ ruthless Erwin is.  Armin watches him from a distance, listens to Corps gossip, extrapolates from lessons, and he knows that Erwin is much more than he first appears.  Sasha and Connie think he’s “pretty cool” and “he has crazy eyebrows!”, but they don’t quite grasp how intelligent and calculating Erwin is. 

He’s brilliant.  Armin admires him just as much as Eren does – though, of course, for different reasons, because even if Eren is more perceptive than Connie, he doesn’t _see_ Erwin like Armin does.

Erwin is deadly.

 

* * *

 

 

**16.**

“This is one of the most important practical skills you will learn before we go beyond the Wall,” Squad Leader Ness calls, riding up and down the line of recruits where they sit on their horses. 

“Watch,” he orders, then turns Shallot in place and urges her into a full gallop towards the castle.  With grace born of practice, he stands up on the saddle before engaging his gear and flying away, amidst murmured admiration.  Shallot continues forward.

When Ness returns, he instructs them to practice going from sitting in the saddle to crouching on the saddle, at a walk.

It doesn’t go well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin has nightmares, there are drunken shenanigans, the leaders discuss the new kids, Sasha makes a new friend, Krista is friendly, Connie discovers a talent, Ymir can’t sleep, and Jean reflects on his decision.

**17.**

Armin has nightmares of Eren being swallowed whole, ones where he doesn’t come back.  Sometimes, if the nightmares wake him and he can’t fall asleep again, he sneaks down to Eren’s cell and they sit together, back-to-back against the barred door.  Sometimes, Armin cries.  Eren has never been good at comfort, but he pats Armin’s leg awkwardly and mutters things that are meant to be soothing, that from anyone else would just be rude.  It makes Armin feel better, though, because it’s so _Eren_.

“You were dead,” Armin sniffs one night, “and it was my fault.”

Eren’s hand finds Armin’s.  “ _No_ ,” he says fiercely.

 

* * *

 

 

  **18.**   

One night, happy and maybe a little drunk, Reiner giggled suddenly, bumping his shoulder against Bertholdt’s.

“Hey, ‘member that game we used to play when we were kids?”  When Bertholdt grinned, Reiner turned to scoop up a protesting Armin, hefting him so he was seated on Reiner’s shoulders.  

“Choose your weapon!” Reiner yelled at the others.  “Shoulder wrestling!”

Connie whooped and leaped at Bertholdt.  “I get the giant!”

With Krista seated comfortably on Ymir and Sasha perched atop Jean (“Hyah, Horsie!”), Mikasa went to lift Eren, but he whispered something and she climbed onto his back instead.

Eren raised a hand to his mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

**19.**

“So!” Hanji flopped across Erwin’s desk, scattering papers and causing Erwin to sigh loudly.  She grinned. “What do you think of the new kids?”

“Do we have to have this conversation now, Hanji?  I’m rather busy.” Erwin shook a handful of papers.

 “Yes!”

He sighed again.  “They’ll do well.  They all placed highly in their training, and they’ve undergone a trial by fire already, in Trost. There may not be many of them, but they’ll be good soldiers.”

Hanji nodded in agreement, looking out of the window just in time to see Fubar stumble, fall, and take Arlert and Braus down with him.

 Oh.

 

* * *

 

 

**20.**  

“Hey good-lookin’, whatcha got cookin’?  Smells great!”  Sasha sang, skipping into the kitchen. She’d smelled something suspiciously like stew and was determined to help.

Taste testing was totally helping.

“Oh!” She stopped short.  “Um.  Hi.  Uh, Squad Leader Zakarius, sir.”

Sasha felt an embarrassed flush creeping up the back of her neck as Zakarius sniffed and smiled slightly.

“Mike.”

She blinked.

He held up a knife and gestured to a tray of onions, quirking a questioning eyebrow. 

Sasha lit up.  She grabbed the knife and started chopping while she babbled about their training.  Mike gave her an amused glance and a sack of potatoes.

 

* * *

 

 

**21.**

Bertholdt was sitting slumped against a tree, pondering a nap, when Krista plopped down beside him with a quiet “oof!”

“This training is tough, isn’t it?  I haven’t been this sore and tired since that marathon we had to do with the packs.”  She rubbed at her thighs ruefully, smiling up at Bertholdt.

That wasn’t it.  But he nodded anyway, returning the smile.

“Napping?”

“Considering it,” he replied, wondering what Reiner – the soldier Reiner – saw in Krista.

She curled up and leaned against his side.  He automatically wrapped an arm around her, and she hummed contentedly.

She was so warm.  He held her tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

**22.**

When the titans breach Wall Rose, Connie fights.  He finds his squad (he finds Sasha), his training kicks in, and he does what he has to do.  It’s instinctive, to run and fight and defend the others.  And Connie knows that he’s never been the sharpest blade in the armoury even if he is athletic, so it never even occurs to him that the others might not find it as easy as he does.  He can keep his cool, though, and he can think on his feet, and that means he can protect his friends now, when they can’t. He is good at this.

 

* * *

 

**23.**  

Ymir flopped over, sighing in frustration.  The barracks in the Survey Corps were, ostensibly, better than in the Trainee Corps.  Smaller rooms, fewer people, single beds.

The latter was an issue.

It was fine for Sasha and Mikasa, she thought grumpily, because Mikasa’s bunkmate had dropped out early and Sasha’s had never shared their space, but Ymir was used to falling asleep cuddled with Krista. 

She sighed again.  There was a rustle, and a moment later, Krista’s head popped up beside Ymir’s bunk.

“You too?” she whispered.  Ymir nodded, and Krista crawled onto the bunk.

They fell asleep immediately, wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

* * *

 

 

**24.**

Sometimes, Jean would catch himself thinking resentfully about the Military Police.  He’d imagine the easy life they must have there, up in Wall Sina.  He thought about it while he was mucking out stalls and peeling endless potatoes and running through the obstacle course on a quarter tank of gas, _again._  

In every daydream, Annie was there, but so was Marco.  And _fuck_ , remembering every time that Marco wasn’t in Sina... well.  He’d never considered joining the MP without Marco, and he couldn’t imagine it now.

It was better that Jean was here, making a real difference, than in the Military Police, without Marco.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin is a strategist, Reiner is lost, Jean can be nice, Marco watches, there’s a visit from Shadis, too much is expected of Eren, a date is interrupted, and Erwin and Levi talk.

**25.**  

“Focus, Armin,” Sasha coached.  “Focus.”

“I _am_ focusing.”

“Well, _stay_ focused, then.” 

“It is very hard to do that with you hovering around me like a vulture.  Back off.”

“Geeze, fine!  I was only trying to help.”

“Yeah, you’re not helping, Sasha,” said Jean from across the table.

“You shush too, Jean,” Armin ordered.  “I’m trying to think.”

Jean smirked.  “Can’t think your way out of this one, Arlert.  I’ve got you trapped.  You’re going _down_.”

Mikasa spoke up. “Everyone be quiet.  Armin’s thinking.”  She glared around the assembled circle of recruits, eyes narrow.

Armin reached out slowly and moved a rook.  “Checkmate.”

“ _What_!?”

 

* * *

 

**26.**

Reiner knew there was something wrong with him.  He’d find himself somewhere with no idea how he got there, there were entire days he couldn’t remember, and Bertholdt was acting upset and distant.  Sometimes, he had hazy thoughts of things he couldn’t remember, or he’d catch himself staring at Krista without knowing why.  It was starting to scare him.

“Something’s wrong with me,” he whispered one evening, sitting outside the castle with his head in his hands.  Bertholdt put a warm hand on his shoulder, and he leaned into it greedily. “What’s happening to me?”

Bertholdt knew, Reiner could tell, but he never answered.

 

* * *

 

 **27.**  

Sasha was lying on the grass, flipping through an old book she’d found in the castle, when Jean happened to walk by.  He stopped, one eyebrow cocked, staring at her until she looked up.

“What?”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” Jean started, exaggerating his words, “that Sasha Braus would be caught _reading_ for _fun_.”

“Don’t you have something else to be doing? Other than being an asshole?” Sasha said testily, closing the book and sitting up with a frown.

“Nah.”  Jean sat.  “But hey.”  He gestured to the book, his teasing expression gone.  “I’m proud. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

 

* * *

 

**28.**

Everything in Trost has gone absolutely to hell, but Marco can’t think about that right now, he has to stay with his squad and protect the civilians.  And his friends.  He’s glad to have Jean and Reiner and Bertholdt nearby, and Annie’s showed up from somewhere, too, and he’s a little ashamed to admit that he feels safer with them there, even if they’re all visibly tense and Bertholdt looks like he’s about to pass out.  Marco watches their corpsmates unravelling and he doesn’t know what to do.

“When, Reiner?” he hears Annie ask, and wonders _what_.

“Not yet.” 

He watches them. Something’s wrong.

 

* * *

 

 **29.**  

“Hey,” Connie hisses in Armin’s ear. “Look.”  Erwin and Shadis are across the yard, talking quietly.  Armin accidentally catches Shadis’ eye, and after nodding to Erwin, Shadis starts towards them.

He looks them over as they stand at attention, lingering on Armin. “Arlert,” he says, “I’ve heard good things about what you did in Trost.”

Armin blushes. “Nothing special, sir.”

“You orchestrated the recovery of the Command building, protected Jaeger from those Garrison idiots, and devised the plan to seal the wall. Is that right?”

“Yes sir.”

Shadis nods.  “Well done, Arlert.  I knew you had it in you.”

Armin salutes.  “Thank you, sir!”

 

* * *

 

**30.**

Eren was frustrated and confused and _exhausted_.

“Again,” Hanji ordered, standing by with a notepad and a maniacal grin.

Eren shook his head.  “I can’t,” he gasped, shaky from his last transformation.  “It’s not going to work.”

“Jaeger,” Levi spoke up from a table nearby, “do it.  Try again.”

“I…” Eren didn’t think he could _stand_ , let alone transform.

“That’s an order, Eren.”

“Yes sir,” he mumbled. He bit down on one unsteady hand, but instead of the peculiar falling-up feeling, he fell forward, landing flat on his face with his human legs sticking straight up out of the Titan skull.

“Huh,” said Hanji.

 

* * *

 

 **31.**  

Ymir was laughing happily with Krista when her day was abruptly ruined.

“Hey ladies,” said a distinctly male and distinctly unwelcome voice.  “Mind if we join you?”

The two men ignored Ymir’s snapped “yes” in favour of Krista’s friendly acquiescence, and sat with them, one on either side.  Ymir scowled and curled possessively around Krista.

“I’m Ivan,” said the one beside Ymir, “and this is Jurgen.”

“Congratulations.”

“So,” the other guy – Jurgen – leaned in front of Krista.  “You girls have any plans?” 

“Yes, actually,” Krista responded before Ymir had a chance. “We’re on a date. And then we’re going to have sex.”

“Aw, shit.”

 

* * *

**32.**

“So,” said Erwin from behind steepled fingers. “How’s Eren coming along?”

Levi sighed.  “Cut the shit, Erwin.  We both know that Fuckface’s been giving you daily reports.  What do you actually want to know?”

Erwin’s carefully guarded expression broke, and his eyes glinted.  “Hanji is too scientific.  You’re better at reading people.  I want your observations.”

“He’s like I was.”  Erwin’s eyebrows rose.  “He’s angry and stubborn. He doesn’t like to take orders.  He might get us all killed, Erwin,” Levi warned.  “But he’s a kid, and he’s fucking scared.”

“He admires you,” Erwin said simply. “And I trust you.”

“Tch.”

“Teach him, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late - I had a variety of technological and personal problems to sort out. But this fic will continue!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Connie has an argument, Eren is a bad influence, bonfires bring up memories, Jean and Eren get into trouble, Mikasa listens, Reiner is a flirt, Armin is discussed, and Sasha plans a date.

**33.**

Connie tumbled to the ground, again, grunting in frustration.  There came a derisive snort from one of the Survey Corps veterans standing nearby, leaning against a stable with a haughty look.

“Like you could do better when you started,” Connie grumbled.

The veteran scoffed and made a show of examining his nails.  “I got it first try.  But that’s to be expected, of course, given that I was in the top ten of my class.”  He smirked.

“Big fucking deal, so was I.”

“Ah-! Well, I have 48 confirmed titan kills!”

“I killed my first titans before even graduating!” 

They glared at each other.

 

* * *

 

 **34.**  

“Hey, Armin!”  Armin was already smiling at Eren’s voice when his friend ran over and bumped shoulders. “Levi gave me the afternoon off, after that thing yesterday… uh… that I can’t talk about… but, ah, let’s grab the others and do something! I’m sick of this stupid castle, I need some air.”  While he talked, Eren had grabbed Armin by the arm and was dragging him towards the stables, where they could faintly hear Jean yelling and Reiner laughing.

“Eren, the rest of us have training today.  Ness is going to –”

“Oi!” Eren interrupted, yelling. “Get those horses saddled up, you’re skipping class!”

 

* * *

 

 **35.**  

The former 104th Trainees Squad was sitting around a bonfire, munching on nuts and sipping from mugs being passed around the circle.  Their colleagues were cheerful (and drunk), but there was a sense of melancholy from the new recruits.  Sasha took a mug and stared into it.

“Just take a fucking drink and pass it on,” Jean grumbled.

“Last time we were around a fire like this –” Sasha sighed and drained the cup in one long gulp.

Jean’s fist clenched reflexively. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Don’t be a dickhead,” Ymir said sharply. 

“Hey, hey,” Krista stood, placating. “No fighting. Not over this.”

 

* * *

 

 **36.**  

“You broke all of it.”  Eren’s voice was equal parts awed and terrified.

“It wasn’t my fault! You tripped me!” Jean hissed.

“I did not!  You tripped over your own feet, you asshole!”

“Shh! What do we do?  Levi’s gonna kill us.”

“ _You_ , he’s gonna kill _you_ , I didn’t do anything!”

“Do you _really_ want to risk that, Jaeger?”

Eren didn’t respond.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.  C’mon.”  Jean grabbed Eren’s sleeve, and they jumped out the window and swung away 

Several hours later, the entire Survey Corps was standing at attention before an irate Levi. He held a smashed teacup in his hand.

 

* * *

 

**37.**

Mikasa was a mess.  She vaguely recognized it, somewhere in the back of her mind, but most of her thoughts were occupied with a chant of _ErenErenEren_ , and, oh Sina, hearing his heartbeat.  She could feel herself shaking but all she wanted was to hear Eren’s heart, to feel him in her arms, to smell his hair.  The decaying titan bodies and footsteps of live titans weren’t important.  Eren was alive.

“Ah…” Armin’s voice was high and unsure, but he put one hand on Mikasa’s back.  “We should get off the road.”

“C’mon,” Jean grunted.

Mikasa clutched Eren close, as close as she could.

 

* * *

 

**38.**

Reiner was in the middle of a workout – Mikasa spotting him, which nobody dared to question – when he noticed the man staring at him with a very interested expression.  And Reiner really could not resist the opportunity.

When he sat up after his next set, he made sure to stretch so his shirt rode up just a bit, and “accidentally” spilled water over his chin so it ran down his chest.  He glanced at the guy – still watching – and smirked. Then he started walking over.  The guy stood up just a bit straighter.

Reiner walked right past and leaned up to kiss Bertholdt’s cheek.

 

* * *

  

**39.**

“That’s that Arlert kid.”

“Wait, which one?”

“There. Blond at the back.”

“Huh.  Doesn’t look like much.  But Commander wanted him?”

“Yeah, apparently he did some big stuff in Trost.  Only survivor in his squad.  I mean, apart from Eren Jaeger.”

“That’s it?”

“No.  But I’ve heard different things.  Some people were saying he talked the Garrison down from icing Jaeger, or that he came up with the plan to liberate the supply.  You know, ‘cause those Garrison fuckers just left the trainees there to deal with it?  I also heard planned the entire take-back mission.  Who knows which is true though.”

“Wow. Impressive.”

 

* * *

 

**40.**

Connie was helping Ness tidy up after a lesson when Sasha bounded through the door of the classroom and snapped off a cheery salute to their superior.

“Hi Squad Leader, can I take Connie?” She gave him her most charming smile, all dimples and teeth.

Ness let her stand there for another minute, staring at her with a stern expression, before he cracked a smile and nodded.  Sasha grabbed Connie by the arm and pulled him out the door, throwing a “thank you!” over her shoulder. 

“What’s going on?” Connie asked. 

“Nothing!  I just wanted to take you on a picnic!”

Connie went pink.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin deals with grief, Eren and Mikasa talk, Levi brings tea, Reiner struggles, Jean is NOT thinking about Trost, Sasha and Connie make a discovery, Armin learns an old secret, and Ness thinks about his kids.

**41.**

Armin had been putting off cleaning his 3DMG since Trost… happened.  But he needed to do it before something seized and he ended up dead, so he took a deep breath and walked into the workroom, alone.

Bertholdt looked up from his seat at one of the tables.  Armin went to sit beside him, feeling Bertholdt’s questioning gaze at the state of his gear.

“I used to always do this with Marco,” Armin said.  He sighed.

Bertholdt flinched and his breathing hitched.

“Hey, hey, s’okay,” Armin hushed, alarmed. “It’ll be okay.”

Bertholdt shook his head. “No.  It won’t.  It’s never going to be okay.”

 

* * *

 

  **42.**

“Hey, Mikasa?”

“Yes, Eren?”

He shuffled awkwardly. “Uh.” He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. “When you thought I was dead.  What did you do?”

Mikasa didn’t respond, or react at all.  Eren gave an embarrassed huff.

“The titan got me because I was trying to save Armin.”

“Yes.”

“Were you… mad at him?”

Mikasa turned to Eren, finally, and aimed a steely look at his ear.  He was resolutely looking at his knees.

“No.  Never.”

He blinked in surprise and met her eyes.  Then his expression softened, and it wasn’t a smile, but it was happy.

“Good. That’s good.”

 

* * *

 

  **43.**

Eren was lying on his bed, staring at the dungeon wall.  Squad Leader Hanji was supervising tonight, and he was pretending to sleep just so she’d stop talking at him.  He liked her, but she talked _too much_.

He heard someone descending the stone stairway and tensed a little.

“Oh, hey Levi! What brings you down here this fine evening? Ooh, is that tea for me?”

Eren heard Levi click his tongue.  Then, slurping and a muttered admonishment.

“How long has the brat been pretending to be asleep?”  Levi’s voice held an undercurrent of amusement.

Hanji laughed.  “Oh, about an hour now.”

Eren blushed.

 

* * *

 

  **44.**  

He had to take Annie and Bertholdt into the Walls because Bertholdt kicked –but no he had to help Armin pass training because Armin was – he had to break Rose but Eren was a titan and how were people titans – but he was a titan no he was in the Survey Corps – a soldier – who was he who was –

“Reiner?”  Connie’s voice was right beside his ear.

Reiner gasped and flinched back in alarm.

“Woah, dude,” Connie held up his hands. “Calm down.  You were completely spaced out.  Where the hell were you?”

Reiner rubbed his eyes hard.  “I don’t know.” He giggled, half-hysterical.

 

* * *

 

**45.**

It had been a week since graduation. A week since Trost and since joining the Survey Corps.  So much had happened and Jean was stubbornly _not_ thinking about it.  And he definitely wasn’t thinking about how he _didn’t_ automatically look for Nac in the dining hall, and he _didn’t_ see Eren look around for Annie in combat lessons, and he _didn’t_ roll over in the middle of the night to get closer to Marco.  He _didn’t_ notice Krista and Sasha and Mikasa and Ymir choosing tables with enough space for seven, or Connie crying in the middle of the night.

Except. Maybe he did.

 

* * *

 

**46.**

Connie and Sasha thundered into the room, yelling excitedly about something.  Jean complained at them to calm down, and they did, both sporting ear-to-ear grins and holding up –

“What on earth are _those_?”

“They’re old uniform boots!  We found them in one of the cellars.  This castle has a ton of cellars.  But look at the giant heels! They’re at least ten centimeters high! So weird.”

“Hey, gimme those.”

Soon enough, the entire former 104th was wobbling around on high-heeled boots, some more successfully than others.  Reiner was stomping around with a smirk.  “I like these,” he declared, towering above everyone. “I’m keeping them.”

 

* * *

 

**47.**

When they left the courthouse after Eren’s trial, Armin had his Thinking face on.  Mikasa watched him out of the corner of her eye until he snapped out of whatever it was, caught her looking, and smiled sheepishly. 

He came to a stop in the middle of the hallway.  Members of the Military Police filed around them.

“Hey, Mikasa?” 

Armin’s voice was unusually hesitant, and Mikasa automatically tensed.  But she stopped and turned to face him, waiting.

“What they said in there… about you and Eren… ah... s _tabbing_ people?” His voice pitched higher with apprehension.  “Was that…?”

Mikasa exhaled slowly and nodded twice.

“Oh.”

 

* * *

 

**48.**

“Alright, you’re free to go. We’re in the classroom tomorrow, don’t forget.”  Ness rolled his eyes at the chorus of groans that met his words, though he couldn’t help grinning at his recruits.

They was a smaller group than usual, but, Ness reflected, every one of them was well worth his or her place in the Survey Corps.  They were a gifted, tightly-knit group, and he hoped to Sina that they’d survive their first expedition.  He’d never taken recruits outside the Walls as early as a month after graduation.  He was worried.

Somehow, these kids – _his_ kids – had wormed their way into his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #46 was inspired by the conviction that, in Shingeki's Next Top Model, Reiner would kick everyone's butt.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertholdt misses Annie, Annie thinks of fallen comrades, Armin practices, the veterans have an unfortunate pastime, Eren defends Armin, Krista meets her squad leader, Hanji and Armin share a common interest, and Jean contemplates his likely future.

**49.**

Bertholdt was brooding alone behind the stables when Reiner found him and plopped down with a sigh and a smile.

“There you are!  I was wondering where you’d gone off to.  Everything alright?”

_No_ , Bertholdt wanted to say, _no, it’s not alright.  I killed our friends and I’m a monster and you’re not_ here _half of the time and I can’t talk to_ anyone _anymore_.  But he didn’t.  Instead, he just shrugged and said, “I miss Annie.”

Reiner leaned against him.  “Yeah.  I thought you would.”

Bertholdt frowned. “Well.  She’s one of us, Reiner.”

“Yeah, but she’s in the MP now,” the soldier answered.

 

* * *

 

  **50.**  

Connie was crying.  He tried to bluster it off as a reaction to the smoke, but it wasn’t. 

Annie wasn’t crying.  Neither was Reiner or Bertholdt, standing on either side of her.  She knew that Reiner had retreated to that locked-away, delusional part of himself, and Bertholdt’s face was edging onto the desperate side of numbness.  And Annie… If she didn’t think, it would be easy. 

It should have been easy.  This was why she was there, so it should have been easy.  But looking into the funeral flames she’d see a flash of freckles or silver hair or black pigtails… and it wasn’t.

 

* * *

 

**51.**  

Between deep, steadying breaths, Armin carefully shifted forward to rest his wrists against the saddle.  His horse was moving at a steady canter, led by Ness and Shallot, and Armin exhaled forcefully before pushing himself up in one quick movement to squat in the saddle.  He wobbled, but managed to keep his footing.

“Yeah, Armin!” Sasha cheered from where she was crouching casually on her own horse, one hand on the reins and the other waving encouragement.  Armin made it another hundred meters before he tumbled to the ground with a yelp.

He was grinning when Sys offered his hand. “I finally got it!”

 

* * *

 

**52.**  

It was late, far too late, and the 104th recruits were distinctly unhappy to be awake.  Muffled music was coming up through the floorboards, accompanied by unfortunately _un_ muffled screeching.

“It’s happening again,” Connie groaned, lying face down with his pillow wrapped around his head.

“Thanks for pointing that out. I hadn’t noticed.  Really,” Jean grumbled.

Connie flopped onto his back.  “ _Why_ do they keep singing in the middle of the night? They’re so bad.”

“They’re fucking drunk.”  Jean winced when he heard Hanji’s voice squeak loudly on a high note.

“I think Erwin’s pitch is getting better,” Armin added thoughtfully.

“You can’t be serious.”

 

* * *

 

  **53.**

Eren was watching his corpsmates training. 

“Everyone’s improving a lot,” he commented to Petra, who was standing with him.  “Especially Armin and Ymir.  There,” he pointed them out. 

Petra glanced over them critically.  “Armin, he was one of your childhood friends, right?”  When Eren nodded confirmation, she continued, “Well, I hope he improves more.  He’s not going to survive his first expedition like that.”

When Eren bristled, she held up her hands defensively. “It’s just the facts, Eren.”

“No.” Eren shook his head.   “You don’t know Armin.  He’s capable of much more than people give him credit for. He’ll be fine,” he said confidently.

 

* * *

  **54.**

“You’re Krista Lenz, right?”  There was a tall, attractive woman smiling down at Krista.  Krista nodded confirmation.

“I’m Nanaba,” she said, reaching to shake Krista’s hand.  “You’ve been assigned to my squad for the next expedition.  I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

“Oh! It’s nice to meet you.” Krista returned the smile.

“I heard you placed tenth in your graduating class?” When Krista nodded again, Nanaba added, “Well done.”

“Thank you.”

Something shifted in Nanaba’s expression.  Her eyes narrowed slightly, changing from warm and friendly to cool and calculating.  Krista blinked, and the warm smile was back in place.

“We’re happy to have you.” 

 

* * *

 

  **55.**

“Wait, here, look at this, what’s this one? I’ve never seen it before.”

Hanji hurried to Armin’s side, staring intently down at the little flower.  Her glasses glinted in the sunlight.

“Aha!” she yelled. Armin jumped.  “I’ve only seen a few of these before!  Look at the –”

“Oi.”

Hanji ignored the interruption, continuing her exuberant floral description.

“Hanji.  I need Arlert.”

Armin started to stand, but Hanji caught him.  Without ever looking up from the flower, she said pleasantly, “no, I’m keeping him.  Unless you’d prefer to examine the local flora with me?”

Levi’s forehead creased, before he sighed and turned away wordlessly.

 

* * *

 

  **56.**   _tie-in to 104 Reasons to Live #89_

“Which report are you reading now?”

Armin didn’t react immediately to Jean’s question.  He finished his paragraph before shifting and straightening his hunched back.

“It’s a compilation of squad leaders’ reports from the 56th Expedition.  Mortality rates. They’re… really high… ” he trailed off, frowning at the page.

“That’s shit.”

Armin blinked, the flashed Jean a quick smile. “Yeah. It is.”

“Anything we should know?”  When Armin’s only response was a raised eyebrow, Jean shot back a defensive “What?”

“You used to laugh at me for reading these,” Armin reminded him.

“Yeah, well.  Things change. Now… this is important.”  _I don’t want to die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #52 was inspired by: http://drinkyourfuckingmilk.tumblr.com/post/79253783217/but-why-do-they-have-to-sing-bohemian-rhapsody-at
> 
> Finally posted a new one! I hope it's lived up to expectations.   
> Fell free to talk to me on Tumblr and hit me up with any drabbles you'd like to see.  
> http://sasha-braus.tumblr.com/


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikasa talks with Eren, Connie sucks at cards, Annie is focused, their talk is long overdue, Sasha’s up to no good, Jean doesn’t like Mike, Armin meets a friend’s family, and Levi and Hanji aren’t very subtle.

**57.**

“Why won’t you look at me anymore, Eren?”

Eren huffed a breath through his teeth.  “It’s…” he gestured roughly, flicking the hair away from her cheek. 

“Oh,” Mikasa said softly, pulling up her scarf.  “It doesn’t bother me.”

Eren laughed in disbelief.  “It’s a scar.  On your _face_. And it’s my fault, I couldn’t control myself and you got hurt.  What if it happens again and I don’t miss?” 

And there, thought Mikasa, was the true heart of the problem.  She reached over to touch Eren’s hand. Her fingertips caught in teeth marks.

“It won’t. Neither of us will let you hurt anyone, Eren.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **58.**  

“Reiner,” Connie said seriously, “I’m gonna kill you.”

Reiner just laughed and slapped down his cards.  Connie yelled in exasperation.

“Every time, man.  Why can’t I win?”

“You have _no_ poker face.”

“Yeah, like _you_ have a poker face.”

Reiner grinned. “I have a great poker face.  Not as good as Bertl’s though.”

“Yeah, right.”

“What, you don’t believe me? Oi!  Bertholdt!” Reiner gestured him over.

“Connie doesn’t think you have a poker face.”

Bertholdt frowned, then made his face perfectly blank and locked eyes with Connie.  A few awkward minutes later, Connie relented. “Okay. You’re good.”

“Damn straight,” Reiner said proudly. Bertholdt smiled.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **59.**  

The Military Police recruits were irritating.  It made it easier to keep her distance from them, Annie supposed, but they got on her nerves.  They were selfish and brash and corrupt, and Annie didn’t have time for them.

It made it easier to focus on her mission.  She’d get irregular coded messages from Reiner (or, increasingly, Bertholdt), and knew when they were leaving the walls and where Eren would be.  She knew what she had to do, and she was prepared to do it.

Until she thought of crushing Armin under her foot or bashing Sasha against the ground and she’d suddenly feel sick.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**60.**

“She cried, you know." 

Eren didn’t say anything. His lips twitched downwards.

“Not when we thought you were dead.  She was… strong. But. When you came out of that titan.  She cried.  I mean,” Armin breathed a laugh, “I did, too, but that’s expected.”

“Armin.” Eren’s voice was soft, but admonishing.

Armin ignored Eren and continued, “Losing you was horrible –”

“I know. I heard you scream. I’m sorry.”

“– but getting you back… I can’t even describe it, Eren.”  Armin tilted his head back and stared into the sky.

Clearing his throat roughly, Eren nudged Armin’s shoulder.  “Well. I’m here.”

Finally, Armin smiled.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**61.**

There was one tradition from their trainee days that Sasha absolutely refused to let die.  Even better, the Survey Corps didn’t know what she and Connie got up to in the middle of the night, so she wasn’t expecting any difficulty in getting her way. 

First things first.  She snuck into the boys’ room – laughably easy, just a few steps down the hall.  Then she tiptoed to Connie’s bed, unfortunately far from the door, and woke him with a hand covering his mouth.  He flailed, briefly, before realizing who she was, and Sasha felt him smile under her hand.

“Hey,” she whispered, “kitchen raid?”

 

 

* * *

 

  **62.**

Krista and Ymir laughed at Jean’s affronted expression when he entered the classroom.  He scowled at them, but sat next to Ymir anyway.

“Did you see that?  That giant by the door _sniffed_ me.  What the hell?  What the fuck is wrong with these Survey Corps people?”

Ymir leaned back.  “He’s been doing that to everyone.  Fucking weirdo.  You should have seen your face though, you loser.  Even Connie didn’t look as stupid as you.”

“Oh shut up.  Who the hell is he?”

“He’s a squad leader,” Krista piped up.  “Mike Zakarius.  He’s very… close with _my_ squad leader.”

Jean wrinkled his nose.  “Gross.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **63.**  

After Eren sealed the Trost wall, Armin met Nac’s brother for the first time.  He’d heard about him, of course – Nac had said that his brother had tried to join the Military Police, too, but didn’t rank high enough.  He was two years older and they shared a fiercely competitive relationship. He was in the Garrison.

Stationed at Trost.

After the battle, during the clean-up and lists upon lists of casualties, Nac’s brother found him.  Since Armin and Nac had been friends, been in the same squad.

“Please,” he said, desperate. “Please, where’s my brother?”  But Armin knew that he knew – he was crying.

 

* * *

 

 

**64.**

“They’re arguing again,” Sasha said, gesturing with her chin at Levi and Hanji across the courtyard.

Reiner grunted in response.  “Those two are worse than Jean and Eren.”

They watched their superiors as Hanji’s gestures grew increasingly animated and Levi’s expression grew increasingly sour. 

“I wonder why they fight so much,” Sasha mused.

“I wouldn’t call it fighting, exactly.  More like… bickering. Probably ‘cause Hanji’s so gross and crazy and the captain’s such a control freak.  They’re complete opposites.”

Hanji threw up her hands and turned to walk away.  A few moments later, Levi followed.

“They’re totally fucking,” Sasha said after a pause.

“Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, sort of dropped the ball on this one! Blame it on lack of inspiration, getting sucked into new fandoms, and just life in general. However, I should be back on board now and hopefully will get this done in a reasonable timeframe.
> 
> As always, feel free to shoot me suggestions for scenes you'd like to see [here](http://sasha-braus.tumblr.com/ask).

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed these drabbles.   
> Talk fandom to me on Twitter at [@paxlegomenon](https://twitter.com/paxlegomenon).


End file.
